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Welcome to the Ministry of Onions

‘SATYADEV MARTE’

Ministry of Onions

Misgovernment of India

420, Fodders Scam Road, Opp. Bofors House, Nr. Hawala Chowk, New Delhi

Date : 30/10/98

Subject : “Onion Ratna Award”

To,

Shri Jaspal Bhatti , Chairman,  Non-Sense Club,  House No. 3040,  Sector No. 19 D, Chandigarh, India

Dear Shri Jaspal Bhatti,

This has reference to the “Onion Fashion Show” organised by your esteemed Nonsense Club. The ministry of Onions, as you may be knowing by now, is a newly formed ministry by the Misgovernment of India looking to the great importance ‘onions’ have acquired in our country.
In view of your immense contribution to the cause of ‘onions’, the Ministry of Onions is pleased to give you the ‘Onion Ratna’ Award.
You have also been appointed as chairman of the Onion Ministry’s Expert Committee which has been empowered to look into the following areas :
1.  Analyse the production, consumption, export and import of onions.
2.  Set up an ‘Onion Museum’, in New Delhi, to preserve the rich heritage of different varieties of onions produced   in India.
3.  Finalise modalities to institute the ‘Best Onion Hoarder” Award.
4.  Suggest penal action against those families whose onion consumption crosses 100 gms/month.
5.  To promote consumption of alternative vegetables in place of onions.
6.  To coordinate with other major ministries like Ministry of Potatoes, Ministry of Tomatoes and Brinjal Ministry for    eradicating the remaining consumption of onions in the country.
7.  To speed up research projects directed at developing a cheap onion essence for various food applications.
I am sure that with the active support of your Nonsense Club, we can motivate our countrymen to eventually give up the habit of using onion at least for their day-to-day food consumption. Let’s hope some sense prevails on them and they extend their full cooperation to all of us at the Ministry of Onions.
With regards,
(Bataka Ram)
Onion Minister,
Cabinet Rank,
New Delhi
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This press release is prepared and issued by, G.D. Jasuja, in the interest of all existing and ex-Onion Lovers of our country.
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