{"id":181,"date":"2011-01-09T20:30:29","date_gmt":"2011-01-09T20:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ourindia.com\/index.php\/"},"modified":"2012-05-03T05:11:51","modified_gmt":"2012-05-03T05:11:51","slug":"onions","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.ourindia.com\/index.php\/onions\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcome to the Ministry of Onions"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>‘SATYADEV MARTE’<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Ministry of Onions<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/strong>Misgovernment of India<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>420, Fodders Scam Road, Opp. Bofors House, Nr. Hawala Chowk, New Delhi<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Date : 30\/10\/98<\/p>\n

Subject : “Onion Ratna Award”<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>To,<\/p>\n

Shri Jaspal Bhatti ,\u00a0Chairman, \u00a0Non-Sense Club, \u00a0House No. 3040, \u00a0Sector No. 19 D,\u00a0Chandigarh, India <\/span><\/p>\n

Dear Shri Jaspal Bhatti, \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This has reference to the \u201cOnion Fashion Show\u201d organised by your esteemed Nonsense Club. The ministry of Onions, as you may be knowing by now, is a newly formed ministry by the Misgovernment of India looking to the great importance \u2018onions\u2019 have acquired in our country.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In view of your immense contribution to the cause of \u2018onions\u2019, the Ministry of Onions is pleased to give you the \u2018Onion Ratna\u2019 Award.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
You have also been appointed as chairman of the Onion Ministry\u2019s Expert Committee which has been empowered to look into the following areas :<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
1. \u00a0Analyse the production, consumption, export and import of onions.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
2. \u00a0Set up an \u2018Onion Museum\u2019, in New Delhi, to preserve the rich heritage of different\u00a0varieties of onions produced \u00a0 in India.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
3. \u00a0Finalise modalities to institute the \u2018Best Onion Hoarder\u201d Award.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
4. \u00a0Suggest penal action against those families whose onion consumption crosses\u00a0100 gms\/month.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
5. \u00a0To promote consumption of alternative vegetables in place of onions.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
6. \u00a0To coordinate with other major ministries like Ministry of Potatoes, Ministry of\u00a0Tomatoes and Brinjal Ministry for \u00a0 \u00a0eradicating the remaining consumption of\u00a0onions in the country.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
7. \u00a0To speed up research projects directed at developing a cheap onion essence for\u00a0various food applications.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I am sure that with the active support of your Nonsense Club, we can motivate our countrymen to eventually give up the habit of using onion at least for their day-to-day food consumption. Let\u2019s hope some sense prevails on them and they extend their full cooperation to all of us at the Ministry of Onions.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
With regards,<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
(Bataka Ram)<\/div>\n
Onion Minister,<\/div>\n
Cabinet Rank,<\/div>\n
New Delhi<\/div>\n
———————————————————————————–<\/div>\n
This press release is prepared and issued by, G.D. Jasuja, in the interest of all existing and ex-Onion Lovers of our country.<\/div>\n
———————————————————————————–<\/div>\n
\n

This satire is conceptualised, created and<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Issued in the interest of ‘Crying Public’ by<\/p>\n

G.D. Jasuja<\/a><\/p>\n

Director,<\/p>\n

Indian Institute of Ideas & Research (IIIR),<\/p>\n

46, White House, C.G. Road, Ahmedabad-380 006.<\/p>\n

Telefax : (079) 6464139.<\/p>\n

Email : jasuja@ourindia.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
OUR\u00a0INDIA<\/dt>\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘SATYADEV MARTE’ Ministry of Onions Misgovernment of India 420, Fodders Scam Road, Opp. Bofors House, Nr. Hawala Chowk, New Delhi Date : 30\/10\/98 Subject : “Onion Ratna Award” To, Shri Jaspal Bhatti ,\u00a0Chairman, \u00a0Non-Sense Club, \u00a0House No. 3040, \u00a0Sector No. 19 D,\u00a0Chandigarh, India Dear Shri Jaspal Bhatti, This has reference to the \u201cOnion Fashion Show\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-181","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t